My Boy

Two boys, two birthdays, two days apart.  Each deserving of their own space here on my blog...two boys, 35 years apart but so similar in so many ways...both gentle, kind and loving.

The one difference here is that you all know so much about Liam and Jaxson and also, on a smaller scale you know of my daughter Jenna..Chris, well he has never gotten very much "air" time and so today is his day.

His journey in life has been varied. He has experienced many unique jobs along his path to find himself and his work of passion...at 40, I am comfortable in saying that I think he has arrived and his life choice is a great gift to so many.  Along the way he was always growing in the direction of teaching, writing and living a quieter, more gentle life than most of us...at least those of us in his family...While he was plotting his way, I was always amazed by his dedication to whatever he was working on at the moment..and his dedication has paid off.  He now owns his own Yoga and Meditation studio.  Harbor Yoga was born almost two years ago now and it has grown and expanded with wonderful programs under Chris's leadership. It is truly a most amazing gift when someone comes up to me and tells me how much my son has helped a child of their's come out of their dark space into a beautiful light...he is a mentor of the finest degree.

Of course none of this is really a surprise to me as I have been watching him grow and change. I live with his love and compassion on a daily basis...even when he was a young boy he was kind and gentle to most everyone...and there were times when I wished he would have bopped a few kids on the head...but he always did it his way.  His love of animals follows him around, leaving tracks behind him.  Family is important to him as well as nature...and together we have spent many hours in the forest collecting, both memories, sounds, sights and stillness. So to be doing the work he is now doing feels right and fitting.  I have learned a lot from Chris over these past few years...and at 40 he is his own person, living life on his own terms and really getting it.  He gets that life is meant to be lived in the moment...and he understands why "being still" is important..and healing.  He's built a practice on these principles and it's working, even for a fast paced person like me.  

What I love most about Chris is that he gets me.  Most people never really have someone that knows their core.  Most parents I think, never really know what a child thinks about them...and if they do, rarely do they express it..it's a difficult process I think.  I have two children, a girl and a boy...they both get me on a different level...but with Chris it's more personal I think...he sees the inside and is able to communicate it in ways that make one understand that he is paying attention..his thoughtfulness in words and gifts are stunning.  Never one for commercialism for the most part..often times his gifts are handmade, with deep thought for the receiver...

Two years ago for Christmas I received this print from Chris...I opened it and thought it was gorgeous and thoughtful.  A very nice print of a teapot and some Chinese writing...what I didn't know from the start was that Chris found the print somewhere, thought of me, and from there the gift grew in his mind, hands and heart.  He brought it home and working in the workshop with his Dad, they matted it and then made the frame out of beautiful wood..a semi-home gift.  The writing on Chris's card though it what made me understand that he see's me in a way that I didn't see myself...an awakening for me.  

The story goes...a Chinese folk-tale: the man loved tea so much he decided to live in a teapot! His story symbolizes the importance of doing what we love. "If you find something that makes you happy, do that." The deeper meaning of the man's decision to live inside the teapot is simply to do whatever makes you happy, make such things the focus of your life.  I see you living this way too, Mom, "inside the tea pot."  Two things...I was blown away that he saw me in this way...but when I thought about it...most days it's true..and secondly in these years of retirement, I don't want to waste a minute, so I read this note often...to remember that it is ok. to do what you love..to do what makes you happy.  There are days when life is not so gentle with us..but we have to be able to push on...and this Chinese folk tale delivers that beautiful message...and of course the tea pot...was perfect for me.

I think one of the reasons I am grateful for being given these early golden years, is to see the fruits of our labor with our children and grandchildren...there really is no greater accomplishment to me...than to know that my kids are well and compassionate and know their own minds and hearts...that they go out into the world each day trying to do good.  Beyond that if you have a few times when you know that your son or daughter "gets you" and approves, now that's a gift all in itself...

So as Chris is now on his own path...like Liam, I will continue to watch over him, support him in all he does, laugh with him and enjoy his adult company.   From the day he was born he has been finding his way...and finally, he is there...Namaste Chris...Happy Birthday....Love Mom

"Goodness is the only investment that never fails."  Henry David Thoreau

"A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and in all things, and

who walks humbly and deals charitably with the circumstances of life,  knowing that in this world no one is all knowing and

therefore all of us need both love and charity."...Eleanor Roosevelt

Look Who's Two

How can it be...where did the time go...the night of his birth now just a distant memory. The fading away of the stress and worry we endured because of  his frail and delicate birth.  Two years of healing and growing and yes, they said it could be like this, but at the time it seemed hard to believe...Jaxson was born with a spirit like no other child that I personally know...Today when I see how far he has come and how smart and funny he is...I know in my heart of hearts that same spirit was in him when he was born and it is what got him through...he is no wimp this boy of our family..

Today, at two...he runs and plays and picks flowers for his Nana...we watch as Liam plays T-ball.  I watch him learn about life amongst the dandelions, throw away flowers to most but not to Jaxson.  To him they are beautiful and deserve a place in a glass of water on my windowsill and of course we put them there when we go home...And along with picking those flowers, he chats to me about how "pretty" they are.  His speech is well above most children his age...he is charming in his choice of words. and his stories are very entertaining. I, of course, am thrilled at how far he has progressed..It has really been an amazing journey with this boy of light and love.

His eyes are what get you first...and he knows how to use them...then his sweet and loving personality kicks in for added insurance so he can manoeuvre his way around you...and if none of that works, he moves into high gear to let you know he is not happy with your decision.  Now I know, as a parent and now as a grandparent, that you are not suppose to encourage a stand-off with a two year old..but can I just tell you with Jaxson it just works..OMG, the look on his "angry face" is so darn cute and the pouty lips moving into a "raspberry" is just to funny.. Now that he is two I have to turn away and laugh..in one way...he is moving away from this gesture as he grows and learns some rules..and honestly, as much as I know he needs to move on...I will sure miss his spunky attitude..his knowing what he wants and that look on his face.  In defense of him though...he moves out of his "mood" so quickly you wonder...did that really happen...He is such a joyful, happy baby.

Every once in awhile he gives in to the tiredness of his busy schedule and catches a few winks in the car...It's not easy being two and learning the lessons of life.  Fortunately he has his big brother Liam to help him along...and now that Jaxson is "a big boy" they are so much fun to watch together...so when Liam is being quiet in the car...Jaxson folds his hands and tucks them into the seat belt, I like to think he is asking God for more strength for his journey ahead.  To keep him safe and strong.  I love to see him like this and so I capture him.  I capture both him and Liam in so many everyday, anytime situation.  Someday they will have a journal of their young years...or at least that is my hope...but it also is my gift to myself...to be able, as the years move by, to remember all the tiny, everyday things that they have done...and of course the milestones also..

So Happy Second Birthday Jaxson...you deserve all the love that surrounds you.  You give back more than we give and you shine your magic on us each time you visit.  Where did the two years go...they went into the hearts and souls of all of us who know you.  He has built his network from frail beginnings but he is a powerhouse now...I just can't wait to watch him go, go, go...I love you Jaxson, a bushel and a peek and a hug around the neck...Your Nana