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Entries in 2014 (4)


The Kiss...Part 2


Once upon a time there was a young girl with a big love for her Navy man...but so many obstacles stood  in her  way.  Once upon a time stories, are usually fairy tales, but not this time.  That young, pretty girl, found her courage and stood her ground against all the forces that were against her, all the people that would have tried to persuade her not to go...but instead she followed her heart, across this country,  at what expense I do not know. Not only did she go and find her man, she married him.  That brave girl was my Mom and if you read the original blog post of the Kiss, you will be familiar with why part 2 in necessary.

I came across the beginning of the story after finding the above photo in my Father's belongings after he died. A few years after that I had taken a trip to San Diego and saw the statue of the Kiss.  I read the placque and saw the dates and at that moment I knew that those were the times my Mom and Dad would have been involved with each other but I didn't know the story of their marriage, although I did know it was in when the photo's emerged I started my journey to follow my Mom and try to recreate, as best I could, her journey to reach her man.  All I had was a photo, my aunt who filled me in a bit and the internet to get me started. Without these photo's I would still not know of my Mother's journey both figuratively and personally.

The very first thing I did was look up St. Benedict's church, Seattle Washington.  Amazingly it was there. I made a phone call to be sure that it was still a parish church, it was and I wrote down the address...and then I added Seattle Washington to my bucket list.  Two weeks ago, with that photo in hand and my Father's date of  March 1945 on the back, a phone number for the church...Jim and I were on our way.  It was a surreal experience for me..because my Mom never shared this part of her journey with any of us kids...and I was feeling sad about that...but off I went.



We arrived in Seattle Washington after two long years of waiting and it couldn't have been more beautiful..after checking into our hotel..I was eager to get off to finish this journey both for me and for my Mom.  On a tree lined, neighborhood street, with the color of fall and sunlight all around me , we found our destination, St. Benedict's church. I was both nervous and excited to see what I would discover.  The first thing was that the church looked nothing like the church in my photo and my heart skipped a beat thinking I was to late.  I'm not sure I would have handled that very well.  Instead what I found was the school...that school matched my photo.  Well, I was happy for that bit.  Next we were shown to the office of the Administrative Assistant and I do believe God had a hand in my finding her, and this is where I learned of my parents marriage...when Becky pulled out the old, very large, record book I was holding my breath that their names would not be in there.  They were, but surprisingly enough..they were married on February 2, 1945, not in March as my Father had dated the photo..we were able to find out about their baptism's and also who stood up for them. It turns out they were friends of my Dad's.. I felt like I had come home in some small way.  Their presence was very strong that day and at the that time in particular...Becky,and another lovely lady and I talked of what that journey would have been like and how my Mom could even have gotten married there because she was not Catholic.  I had always thought she was married in that church but they were most likely married in the Pastor's office or another room..she would not have been allowed to marry in the church santuary at that time...and one last grandfather, whom we always knew as Alfred was not Alfred at all but William...but I'm not going to chase that mystery.

I came a long way to find the roots of my Mother and Father...and I felt good about knowing that some stories I heard were not true and that they really just wanted to be with photo in hand Jim and I went and stood where they stood, the same way that they stood because they wanted to show those naysayers that yes, indeed they were married.  So their rings were the focus of that original photograph. The building was the same..but a bench was added and the Mass sign was removed when the new church was built...but we stand in their spot...finally.

I sat for awhile on that bench and I thought of my Mother's journey...and I felt so sad for her...she had no one to support her, to be with her as she wed the love of her life...and although my parents did divorce much later, I do believe they had that one love that we are all hoping for.  She traveled during war time, most likey on a train for many days..a young, beautiful woman alone. It was a bittersweet moment for me, in the coming to be in her spot...almost like I was telling her I wish I could have been there for her..cheering her on for her bravery and knowing her own mind...making her own dreams come true...I even wish that many years later she could have shared this with me, trusting that I would have understood her need to go.  I do believe that back in those many things were so private...but I'm thinking that if she were to see this post it would set her free, just as it sets me free now.  It also gives me a much better understanding of those time and a what a truly strong woman she Becky and I were pondering this journey and I was questioning my Mom's coming and then the eventual divorce...Becky said to me..."she came because she loved your Dad...that's all you really need to know...she loved him".. And that is my take away from this trip...Once upon a time...a young girl headed west...and many years later her daughter found her.


Two months after retirement 
my father is here, to get away 
from 6 A.M. and his cup 
of empty destination. 

At a football game we huddle 
under his umbrella
talking about the obvious. 
He brings me coffee 
to hold warm between my hands, 
a gift of no occasion. 

When we rise for the anthem 
I hear the rusty crack of his voice 
for the first time maybe ever. 

Thirty-three years of coughing 
thick factory air, of drifting to sleep 
through the heavy ring of machinery, 
of twelve-hour days. In my sleep 
I felt the cold bump of his late-night kiss.

I shiver in the rain 
as my father sings me 
what now I hear as 
a children's song. I lean into him, 
the umbrella and rain my excuse, 
my shoulder against his, 
and I imagine my mother 
falling in love.


"A sight, an emotion, creates this wave in the mind, long before it makes words to fit it." Virginia Woolf.

Two notes...a special thank you to Becky Ortiz from St. Benedict's for her help in researching this marriage and also a thank you to the other girl who took us around and told of stories of those days and how it might have been...I am so sorry I didn't get her name...

Finally...check out my Mom's cool are glad she had them.  Probably why I'm like I am...


Cowboy or Polo Player in Training

I live my life by my lists.  Most days I know what I should be doing all week but even then, on a daily basis, I will write a list. It helps to physically write it and it also feels lovely to cross things off my list as I complete a task.  Some days though, in the process of working down the list, I will come across something on it that leads me astray.  That is what happened today..and so the day passed without completing my list.  What I did accomplish though was so much more fun and hopefully it will someday be a special memory for this little guy that I love so much.

On my list for today was to download all my waiting cf cards from camera to computer.  Well I made a good start but that was about it..first card in was of Liam yesterday at his riding lesson.  I just watched those photo's loading and they were so precious I had to play with them.  With him being sick a few weeks back and me being away he has missed 4 weeks of riding lessons so yesterday he was very excited to see and ride his Penny.  We went prepared with carrots for treats when the lesson was over and I swear this boy had a smile the entire time we were there.  It was very nice for him to be amongst his furry friends and it was so wonderful for me to see him in his element of joy.  Because I had so much fun playing today I thought I would share his day with all of hopes it brings a tiny smile to your faces also..

Before Liam can ride his horse he has to brush her with 3 different kinds of brushes...He knows them all now and what brush to use when...then he has to help get her saddle, blanket, halter and's more work than I would be willing to the end of his riding lesson, he has to repeat the brushing and returning of her gear.

Once Penny is ready Liam takes the reins and because it's still cold here he walks her from the barn to an inside rink where he gets to ride her.  Pretty cute to watch them go along...

 Off they go..Penny is a good follower and Liam is a great leader..not an ounce of fear in either one of them..

Time to ride..Liam's favorite part of course...He stands on the mounting block and now knows how to put his foot in the stir-up and hop over.  In just four months he's learned so much.  This is where his face really lights up..when that horse trots, he's in heaven..and I get the biggest kick out of him..I wonder already if this will be something that Jaxson loves also..

 Today was a good day...he did his first very small jump and trotted several times...trotting is his favorite thing to the end he learns to put his leg over and slide down the horse, with help of was a very good day for Liam and now he walks Penny back to the barn...brushes her and then like all of the end of a task, we like a treat...Penny gets her carrot..but Liam being Liam..he brings  carrots for his two other favorite horses so off we go to feed his friends...

Liam leaves the barn with a spring in his step..feeling good about his time spent here at Myopia.  Who knows how long he will love the company of horses but for now it makes him happy and the horses seem to like him to...I do believe they know a kindred soul and Liam is that for sure...

So you know that list I started today and never finished.  It will be there tomorrow and perhaps I'll add a few more things to it and make some progress.  What I do know is that yesterday and today are the things that give real meaning to my life...and these "little boy" days are as long as I can...I'll keep trotting along behind these guys...just like Penny does.



Pool Time

"When I was forty-five I lay for hours
beside a pool, the green hazy
springtime water, and watched
the salamanders coupling, how they drifted lazily,
their little hands floating before them,
aimlessly in and out of the shadows, fifteen
or twenty of them, and suddenly two
would dart together and clasp
one another belly to belly
the way we do, tender and vigorous, and then
would let go and drift away
at peace, lazily,
in the green pool that was their world
and for a while was mine."   Hayden Carruth

Linking up to Texture Tuesday..I used Kim Klassens 2110 texture at Multiply 25 percent.


Best Bed Buddy's

Every once in awhile you get to witness something so special it leaves a lump in your throat...this was one of those times...Last weekend I spent two nights at my daughter's house and of course Canon came with me...I could not pass up an opportunity to capture the boys in their night and early morning routines..which I don't get to be part of very often...of course they come to my house once in awhile for sleep-overs and we have lots of fun when they come to Maine to visit...but somehow it is different and real when we experience how they are in their own surroundings...

They are both coming into the age when they can now connect with each other on a more playful level...and boys being boys, they do manage to rumble and tumble...which is something to see.  Jaxson is learning how to hold his own and fight for what he wants...while Liam is trying hard to be patient and tolerant of his little brother...not always an easy task for Liam...sharing is not his strong point yet...but it is moments like the one above that are so's these moments...that tell me that yes, they are going to be best buddies and it's starting right now...

Jaxson loves Liam and Liam loves his little brother..they cuddle in the big know, Mom and Dad's bed and they pile on their stuffies and blankies...and snuggle under the down comforter..It's quiet time before bed and both are they lean into each other...Liam reading, in his own way, to Jaxson a story off the I-Pad..and just the touch of Jaxson's arm, leaning on his big brother,  touches my heart.   They are sweet and loving, both of them, and at the end of the day....all their life through, they will be there for each other..just like they were on this night...

"Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a superhero."  ~Marc Brown

"There's no other love like the love for a brother.  There's no other love like the love from a brother."  ~Terri Guillemets

Textured with Kim Klassen