A Time to Remember and Give Thanks

 

Today is Memorial Day, a day to remember.   It's a day that always brings me back to my Dad...that's where the meaning of this day lies for me..I grew up with him in Uniform and the memory holds fast in my mind. So today I remember him again and think of all that he gave up and all that  we lost and gained because of his service.

Military life is not easy for any family but it is particularly stressful for families that are apart for many months and sometimes years...That was the way of life for my family.  My mother refused to travel with my Dad and so there is a long list of "wants" that I wished we could have had as a family...I believe that his travel abroad and and the conflict of two wars, plus the fact that his family was not available to him for long periods of time, ultimately lead to the dissolving of my parents marriage.

On this day though, so many years later, I realize how much he sacrificed for us and his country..Our Country, and for that I thank him..He served with honor and dignity and I think for any person, that is a life well lived.

"Ceremonies are important. But our gratitude has to be more than visits to the troops, and once-a-year Memorial Day ceremonies. We honor the dead best by treating the living well."

Jennifer M. Granholm

LONG HILL...fridays find..

Long Hill was such a great find...and I should have found it years ago...it is a gift of flowers, gardens, trails, beauty and birds...all within "my neighborhood"...Who knew, obviously not me.

Oh I have heard of it. Even read about the gardens many times...but for some strange reason I thought it was further away than it was.  One of those things that we say,  someday.   Not anymore.  I can see myself spending lots of time here through the summer and the changing seasons..

A little bit of history...It is a property of The Trustees of the Reservations, of which I have been a member for many years...it is 100,000 people from every corner of Massachusetts who love the outdoors and the distinctive charms of New England. We believe in celebrating and protecting them, for ourselves, for our children, and for generations to come.

In 1916 Bostonians Ellery and Mabel Cabot Sedgwick purchased Long Hill for their summer home.  It is 114 acres of open pasture surrounded by forest and wetlands.  Ellery Sedgwick was an author as well as editor and publisher of "Atlantic Monthly Magazine.  Mabel Sedgwick was the gardener and a horticulturist..and so began Long Hill.   After they both died the children donated the property to The Trustees of the Reservation..Today it is run by a group of volunteers and the grounds and hiking trails are absolutely breathtaking...I'm kicking myself in the butt for not getting here sooner.   It is a photographers paradise.  Not only that, they have programs here that I could be going to...one in particular that I like the sounds of is Back Porch Appetizers...just maybe I'll sign up.

For now though I will just give you a peek at what I found...I only made it as far as the house and the gardens surrounding it.  Everything was in bloom so my feet were firmly planted in the beauty of this one garden...Next time I'll move on...Just a note...The house was built in the Federal style of Charleston, South Carolina's ante-bellum homes.  The main house includes magnificent woodwork salvaged from an actual Charleston mansion. The bricks used to build the Main House were also salvaged from an abandoned mill in Ipswich..and bring me a mint julep as I sit on the porch and listen to the birds sing their Sunday morning songs...more holy than a church choir...now for some flowers.

The Alum balls are just starting to bloom...I love this flower and it comes in all sizes...Happy Bokeh Baby.

The lovely and delicate Forget -Me- Nots..I had never seen these before and now I'm in love with them..Got myself 4 pots at the annual sale that was going on this day.  A once a year event.

 Just a beautiful little garden of Forget- Me- Nots and greens but the contrast was outstanding..love the tree in the middle of all this color..

A beautiful display of blues and greens...my favorite combination...the forget-me-knots were abundant here and the display took my breath away...the tree was a nice focusing point.

My most favorite of all was the Bleeding Heart.  We had these growing wild when we were kids growing up.   All the unattended fields were full of them but only the pink.  Just this year I saw a white one on flickr and imagine my surprise when I came across a white one here.   I tried to buy one but they were sold out.  I did get the pink one though and I'm so happy to have it.   It was my best find of the day because I know have a little piece of my childhood, a part that I love, in my own backyard now.   When those hearts bloom next year I'll be able to tell my "boys" all about how I loved them as a little girl and how there little pink heart s still remains in my heart till this day...

So this was my find for last Friday...I think I'm really going to like this series...thanks Kim for another gift of inspiration.

"In the possibilities of change lies the imperishable charm of gardens.  Forever through the past experience shine the bright alluring pictures of the future."  Mable Cabot Sedgwick.

Wednesdays With The Boys

Tuesdays and Wednesday are my favorite days of the week...I am also fortunate to love Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday...but Tuesday and Wednesday are the days my boys come...

Being a Grandmother is one of life's really great Blessings...a big one.   I have been fortunate to have had Liam for a good bit of time over his three years.   Now we are blessed with Jaxson on Tuesdays...by himself...such wonderful bonding happening there and both boys come on Wednesdays. What a whirlwind day that is.   Just so much fun..I thought it might be fun to share with all of you what a Wednesday with the boys looks like from time to time...so here goes.

After the boys arrive at about 8:30, Liam likes to play for a bit and then we have breakfast...quite an ordeal right there.  One's flinging pasty oatmeal while the other one wants to whip up a Mango shake...Jim and I drink and grab as best we can...Then this week it was off to Gloucester to visit Uncle Chris...it was such a beautiful day that I took the boys for a walk downtown and along Main St... a Teddy Bear tea party was in progress so Liam and Jaxson joined in...

Next on the agenda was meeting Uncle Chris at the shoe store...Liam got some new sneakers and they are really fast...so fast that we couldn't even get an in focus photo of him...Jaxson, well he's not into shoes just yet...he finds relaxing in his carriage barefoot a much more pleasant experience..and Uncle Chris loves being with the boys but thinks I spend to much money on them.   I asked him if he would like a new pair of sandals but he told me he already had a pair..two pairs would confuse him...

After leaving Uncle Chris we decided to go to the park because it was such a nice day...They both love to swing and it was a rare treat to get Liam to share the swing with his little brother...This particular park is right on the ocean and there is so much for the kids to do here...

As you can see the "little one" really enjoyed himself...all that salty air and the gentle sway of the swing, wrapped up in his warm blankey put him right out...whew...Nana was also getting tired.

We finally got Liam out of the park and headed home... While we were gone the guys came to turn on the heads to our sprinkler system...and Little Mister Energy got himself under those sprinklers before I could even get his brother out of the car...yup...completely soaked...and from the look on his face, loving every minute of it...I had to laugh at this...but I was thinking later, if this had been one of my kids,  many years ago,  I might have been slightly annoyed...There in lies the beauty of Grandparenting...I enjoyed watching him have so much fun...

Then it comes...the end of another perfect day with these "loves of mine"...yes they do take time away from all the other things I might have to do...and I am usually exhausted at the end of the day..but I would not trade one second of my time with them...you see, as a Grandmother,  I know how fleeting these young years are and I am so thankful for the gift of having them so close by, to watch them grow and learn and love...they are my diamonds in the rough these little boys...and I love them "to the Moon and Back...

Last photo...first time ever...Liam wanting to sit on the steps to wait "for my Mom"...he's already growing up...
 

Power Me Up

Our lesson in Beyond Beyond was to work with apples and come up with a photo...well as I sat in my little cottage in Maine,  reading the lesson on my Mac...the apple was shinning brightly like a diamond...Oh, my mind though...apples and apple...of course.

So power me up was born...nothing really that exciting but it's Monday and I'm thinking after the weekend of kids and cards and flowers,  lots of food and probably to much wine..I would just do an easy post today to start the week...you know,  ease in slowly...

I'm still trying to feel my way around this blog thing and for the most part I probably take it a bit to seriously but I'm thinking that some days it might be o.k. just to chill and enjoy chatting.  Life isn't always full of big moments...which is a good thing. I do believe, for the most part its the little things that keep life interesting.

So another Monday..another day for laundry, exercising,  cooking and posting.  Still a good day.   A day to be thankful and to remember all the good that came out of yesterday..  It still sits in my heart and makes me happy.  Just everyone being together to share our small family and to not only celebrate me as a Mom and now a Nana..but to also celebrate my daughter,  who in her own right is a really wonderful Mom..working hard to bring up her two little boys.  She makes me so proud as I watch her family interact. She gave me a C.F to Anthro, oh Kim will be jealous of that but I bet she might have gotten one also and Liam brought me roses. Of course we remembered another Mom...my Mom..she is always with us on these special days..even if only in memory...my kids love talking about her. I'm glad she was such a great Nana for them..so the memories are important. Remember in your own life to keep making them.

My son was here with all his goodness and he is the master of homemade, thoughtful gifts.  Really the best. I love my boy.  He's really special.  I'm not quite so sure that we needed that tray of very special treats he brought though. In the end,  we all ate them with, great relish...lemon square, peanut butter bomb with dark chocolate, cheesecake with strawberries and my very favorite..carrot cake with cream cheese frosting...I had to do a few extra minutes on the treadmill today at the gym and I'll probably be eating cereal for dinner until weight in on Friday....but what a treat.

And my husband...the gift giver of beyond reasonable.  Not complaining though...he was on an orange mode this year...don't ask me why.   I don't think I have any orange in my closet..I do now though.. Kate Spade tote bag..the diapers are going to be looking good in there...let me see, Jack Russell (oops Rogers) orange sandles...shhh,  I took them back. Orange earrings and an orange ring..oh and I can not forget the orange hat. It would be lovely at a mexican dinner but I'm not going Mexican anytime soon...shh..that went back also but I did find a hat with at touch of orange in it that I liked...I can tell you how this happened...I wanted a watch band for my watch..so he went to Nordstroms and they ordered it for him..he  turned around and saw the orange tote bag and them decided to make a "theme"...yikes, was there no pink or purple around.  Anyways, we had fun with that and he is really sweet to even shop for me and in the end he did come up with a great book that will be fun to read...My kids say I'm spoiled and I tell them I am,  but I deserve it...LOL. 

So my short post has turned into a long post but that's the way it is for me when I finally sit down to write...the words just come.  I never know where I'm going to end up and that's the beauty of it...get a theme and roll with it..

So have an apple today..they are so good right now and if your fortunate to have a Mac...let the light of That Apple lead the way to  wonderul adventures as you Power Up..psst...try Pinterest...that'll keep you going for awhile..

Happy Monday...the dryer calls..

I Miss My Mom

I miss my Mom...I miss seeing her,  I miss talking to her,  I miss my Friday morning breakfast and shopping with her.   I miss the fact that she never got to see my daughter get married or my son start his own business.  Most especially I miss that she never got to meet Liam and Jaxson...she would have loved them so much.  She was a wonderful grandmother to all her grandchildren, mine especially, as we lived in the same neighborhood and since she didn't drive, I took her everywhere she needed to go.  She took my kids every Saturday night so Jim and I could go out...yes..she was a special Grandmother and she is also missed by those kids.

When I was cleaning out my bookcases earlier in the spring, I came across some books that were forming a pattern for me...I started to become aware that I had several books on Mother's and Daughters...I still have four that I have not read and one that I read that has many page tags in it...Places to look for a Mother speaks to me and The Lost Years..is the one I'm most interested in...You see,  My Mom and I were not close like I am with my daughter and so from the looks of these books,  I'm still searching for my Mom even though she has been gone 12 long years...Also this past year when I visited San Diego, I came across the statue of The Kiss and realized, with much thinking on my part, that those times were my Mom's and Dad's and when I got home, I called my Aunt to see if she could tell me about their love story.  My Mom never did and neither did my Dad. My Aunt was so helpful and from there...I started questioning her life even more.

My Mom was born in a generation of keeping secrets and keeping quiet.  There was no personal conversations and not much love shown...I guess we were suppose to assume because we were provided for that we should know we were loved.  I was always one of those children though that needed the concrete proof of love and acceptance and when I didn't get it,  I assumed that I wasn't worthy. That is not unusual for a child.   Children don't know how to process adult situations.  I spent all of my childhood seeking approval from the adults in my life and not having received it entered adulthood not feeling connected to my Mom. Really that is all I ever wanted.  How do you learn to love when you have never been loved.  A question I pondered for many years..and without going into to much detail, it took me a very long time to "get it"...I wasn't the nicest kid on the block growing up...but I was a survivor.

In the end, my Mother did learn about love...in the hardest way a Mom should have to learn...my younger brother got cancer and  we all helped to care for him in his last few weeks of life so he could stay at home.  I saw a side of my Mom that I had never seen before...she was loving and caring and sweet and sad.  So many lessons were learned in the hours and days of sadness and grief..Up until that time my Mother just didn't know how to love outwardly. She was ackward with words and hugs.  It wasn't her way and now I know,  it was not shared with her by her parents.  How sad for her.  Those two weeks though she gave freely of all that was inside her and I hope she felt a release of power in the lessons my brother taught us all.

After that sad time and for the rest of that year (my Mom died one year after my brother) she never left one of us without a hug, a kiss and an I love you...but the biggest gift she ever gave me...was not how to be a Mother but how not to be a Mother like her...I took all that I wanted from her and never got and poured it into my own kids and now my Grandchildren...they know every day how much they are loved and valued.  Now they have to take the world on,  just as I did, but I hope they have more power in which to do it...More "I can do anything" because their Mom believes in them and they know it.

There are so many questions that I would have loved to have had answers for from my Mom...so much she could have taught me and shared with me if only she had been taught the lessons.   A generation of "secrets" and holding back is finally over for my family.   But those books I found tell me that I'm still looking for answers to how mothers and daughters bond.  My mother can't give me those answers anymore, actually she never could. It helps me to know that know.  Not that she didn't want to but that she couldn't. With the knowlege of that I wonder how lonely her own life must have been and why she made some of the choices that she did. I just hope that as I move forward, that my own daughter knows that there are no limits to what I would tell her if she asked...Then again, maybe I should ask her..."is there anything you want me to know."   I wonder as I ponder that question, if I had asked,  would I have gotten an answer...do you think the secret is in one of those books...probably not.

I would say if your Mom is still alive...love her well.   If she is not, be thankful for what she was capable of giving.   The human heart is big and strong and we have the abiltiy to pass the love along...

Happy Mother's Day to everyone Mothering something...we are Mother's of the earth, all of us.

"We all warm ourselves by fires we did not build and drink water from wells we did not dig."  

Robert Lawrence Smith