This Is Love....

Do you believe in Miracles,  do you believe that very good things come from very bad situations, do you believe that someone smaller and younger than you can teach you amazing lessons about how to live your life, how to tolerate scary medical procedures and how to push through them, do you believe in Hero's?  Well I do...because I know and love one...Jaxson is my all time Super Hero...and today is his birthday.

Not only do I celebrate that he is a year old today,  I celebrate the he is alive and well and growing. He is happy and joyful and tolerant.  Wherever he goes, whoever he meets,  is charmed by him and his big blue eyes...His path to this birthday was not easy, not for him and not for his family...To stand by the side of an incubator for months on end, to have ups and downs and for this little guy, barely over 2lbs, to struggled and fight his way to this day, is to know that life and love sometimes is a hard fought battle...but battle he did and I am thankful for him everyday and for the love and joy and sunshine he brings to me and Jim...

We have been blessed to have him close and to have the trust of his parents in our ability to care for him..he comes two days a week and we share a special bond with him, just as we have with his brother Liam...who, by the way, is a great big brother.  He is so sweet and he teaches me to be patient and strong for him.   I also learned from him that although sometimes life is sometimes not how we like it,  we just have to persevere and move forward.   Last week I watched as he had his early intervention team at my house, how he really pushes to get the job done even when he doesn't like to do something that is hard for him. He does it anyways and then when we clap for him...he claps to..Maybe we should all clap for ourselves when we do a good job. More of that would be nice.  Thanks Jaxson for the tip.   

Today he crawls around the house, claps for himself and says goodbye when someone leaves.  I taught him the important lesson of doing a high five and how to give smookey kisses. Those are the really fun wet ones.  He is persistent in his endeavors, I think he learned that  from his early start, but  he is never without his smile...the only thing I would change is that he would love to take a nap.  That is not happening often for him here, but that is o.k. most days, because he must feel that he has a lot of catching up to do and besides he slept a lot those first three months...time to move on Nana..

So today my Hero is able to put behind him the year of being a preemie and moves into his second year of just being a little boy,  learning that life is good, pain is short lived, everyday is joyful and fun...and yes indeed...Loves Comes in Very Small packages..sometimes even Tiny...

Jaxson you are my Love...Happy Birthday, from Nana and Papa.

If you would like to see some highlights from Jaxson's first year...click on this link.

Spread Your Wings...Summer Has Arrived.

Birds are singing, humidity is rising, grass is turning green and I hear the sounds of kids running and playing in the neighborhoods...Summer, it is here again, arriving after a very long and trying winter at my place.  The heat of the sun warms my bones and lifts my heart with joy....it is the season of re-newal and hope...I welcome it with open arms, from the sea to the sky.

So many blessings come in on that light ocean breeze and reminds me that this is the season to slow down.   The season to take a second look at all the beauty that we somewhow rush through in the winter...A time for thoughful meditation on how we want to move forward with the rest of this year...it also allows us, to learn to just breathe in, all the sights, sounds and smells that spell summer...SLOW DOWN..

So many things I love about summer, and the funny thing is,  I allow myself the time to take it all in.  I know it's a fleeting season, so not one minute can be wasted....all those unfinished tasks of winter can wait now until fall...I have a bench at home in my labyrinth garden that calls to me...and a house in Maine on the lake, that sends the sounds of the loons looking for me..more cold beers and chilled wine that needs drinking...and lemons that need squeezing...so here is what I'll be doing...

Reading....All the books that I have stock-piled, especially my two new cookbooks, What Kate Ate along with Back In The Day Bakery Cookbook.  Bring on the ice tea and the sunscreen.

Wine in Maine...whenever I want..I'm a cheap date though.

Going to the beach..

Playing in the sand with the babies.

Boat trips and Loon watching...hoping to finally get some baby Loons this year...

More time with Friends...

Eat More Ice Cream..

Ah, and that hammock that beckons to me...let me rest my weary head there for a bit as the gentle breeze off the water rocks me into pleasant thoughts...

Stump time...find your stump and just sit on it and mediatate about all that is good and joyful in your life...you'll be surprised when you leave your stump how full you feel...Life is good, even when it's not...

And finally and always....Family time...I'll say it again...but most importantly, when the summer is here and we gather in Maine...we are a small family but we are also a Blessed family.

Write your list...it's o.k. if you don't get everything checked off...it's just good to write it...hmm, I need to add writing to my list, make things happen for you and yours...What I know for sure, Life is Short....make it count every day...

HERE'S TO A HAPPY SUMMER PEEPS....IT STARTS TODAY...

A Papa, An Uncle and A Dad...

My Grandson's are the luckiest boys on the planet...they are so loved by so many.  They will grow up to be confident, kind, caring adults because of the loving men in their lives...A Papa, an Unlce and their Dad.

I never had the kind of love growing up that these two boys are receiving but it's always something that I wanted as a little girl...who doesn't want to be Daddy's girl...or boy, for that matter...So it is especially heart warming for me to witness what should have been and to know that all children deserve the love and respect of those adults in their life...in the end, it was o.k. for me.   My Dad and I were given enough time to sort out the past and grow to love each other in a very special way as adults...

Oh but for these boys..A Papa..who thinks the sun rises and sets on his little buddies.  When they are together there are not many rules but lots of "is that a good idea Papa"...and of course, the answer is always"yes Liam that's a great idea"...they go hand in hand down the street or in the park..they have workshop project to do in the cellar.  They have cars to play in Liam and Jaxson's toy room at our house...but everyday that it's Nana/Papa day, first they have to have is their breakfast together...yes,  Papa gets breakfast time and Nana gets tea time..don't mix it up...Today on Father's Day...Liam was made first Mate of Papa's boat at the lake..and Liam is taking the job quit seriously...another Papa and Liam adventure in the works...Jaxson, not to be undone is working his way slowly into Papa life but more quickly into Papa's heart.  It's going to be fun watching them create their own adventures very soon.

Then there is Uncle Chris...it took Liam a long while to be able to say "Uncle Chris"...but he's got it now and the house rings all day long...like the meditation bell with the sound of Liam's voice calling to his Uncle...this weekend they had a wonderful time together...putting up Liam's new tent, and driving the boat together.  Lots of silliness when Uncle Chris and Liam are gather..I think Uncle Chris turns into a 3 year old again as they hoot and holler for each other..out the windows and up and down the street...Liam gets to ride on his Uncle shoulders as we walk downtown and of course they share some serious conversations...it is a very lively place when those two are share space, sometimes I have to tell them both to quiet down...The love is so obvious and Uncle Chris is a natural....no training needed.  Jaxson has already figured out how to work his way into this tight knit twosome...he just smiles that smile that says..."pick me up Uncle Chris"  and so it happens..

Most of all though, is a love so deep and strong that everyone can feel it who is near...the Boys have such a kind,  loving and dedicated father...the kind of father that all kids deserve...I have witnessed this bonding for 3 years now and I see how Jenna and Luke work together to make the boys the priority that they should be...Luke is so gentle and loving, yet just firm enough to have well behaved boys that you really can take out in public...The holding and feeding and changing are part of Luke's life...as is, playing and carrying and book reading and explaining...he dresses them and feeds them and can manage the house when Mom's not there. He takes time for them and shares his affection for them time and again...Liam thinks his Dad is the best thing since sliced bread and he follows him everywhere...and now he quotes what his Dad says to him, to us...like,  if my Dad says it,  it has to be true...Jaxson is powerful in big Daddies arms..even though right now he is a Mommys boy...he'll come around just like his big brother...Daddy is Top Dog..the kind of Daddy every child should have...

For me,  I get the gift of watching them grown in the love and light of the men in their lives...how wonderful it makes me feel..to know that they are cared for and loved so deeply.   I can't imagine how that feels but I do know that I like what it looks like and I know how sweet my house hums along when all these boys are together with Jenna and I...not only on Father's Day...but everyday...

Happy Father's Day to all the Men who mentor their children and other children also...you don't have to be a Father to be pretty special...Uncle's and friends, are special to...all you really need to do is share the Love..

“My father didn't tell me how to live;
he lived, and let me watch him do it” 
― Clarence Budington Kelland

A Beach Rose

The beach rose is one of my favorite flowers of the summer.   Perhaps it's because they grow wild along the beach and if your lucky enough to have a stone wall in front of your house,  these lovelies will travel the length of the wall..

Last week I spent a day just traveling one small road in Manchester, Mass...but it is one of the most beautiful and manicured roads North of Boston..the estates here are beyond what I could even imagine and the landscaped properties are gorgeous...to say nothing of the backdrop to the ocean if your "rich enough"...

Although I'm not "rich" enough to own one of these properties, I am rich enough to travel their private road...The road isn't really private..the residents just put up a sign that says it is...signs are never a problem for me, and in the traveling I see my world slow down as I take in the beach roses...you see, I relate to that rose, perhaps it's why I love it so much...that rose is wild, not a hybrid, does not like to be contained, yet it is uniquely bold in color, beauty and fragrance. It moves along the wall at it's own pace.   It is an old species and it can be found at most ocean locations in New England..perhaps in other area's also but I'm not sure about that..it reminds me of "me"...vintage will a lot of color and a bit of wildness...moving at my own pace...with what I hope is a bit of beauty shinning through..

We both, the rose and me, have a bit of a spark...but that spark is enough to keep us going...no matter what storms we travel through...

Don't Judge A Bird By His Song

I grew up with the ocean at my back door...and although now, I'm not quite that close,  I'm still within the sounds and sights of the "mighty annoying seagulls.."  My son, on the other hand shares space with them now, in the fishing village of Gloucester Mass.  Anyone that knows anything about seagulls knows it's the ocean for them..why not,  such great fishing there,  and when they are not fishing,  they are squawking..all the time.

I saw a different and usual side of them this spring, and I was once again reminded about my ability to judge before observing and knowing the trials and tribulations of another person or in this case,  another bird. I was visiting my son recently and he has a great view of the ocean from his third story apartment in the heart of downtown Gloucester...I often look out his window when I'm there and watch as the boats come and go with their catch, on a nice day,  with the windows open, you also are entertained with the smell of the sea and the squawking of the damn seagulls...this day though, I was in for a surprise and a lesson.

Chris keeps his rocking chair in front of the window sometimes when he is reading. He often finds it quite lovely as he sits there to enjoy the view every once in awhile.  Today it was my turn to sit in the chair while I was waiting for him..."and what to my wondrous eyes should appear but a Mother Seagull getting prepared." She was nesting and watching and keeping good eye..because the only place that she had for her nest, was a heating unit on the top of a building,  she was completely out in the open, with nothing for shelter.  Quite vulnerable to any raptor that might come along...

I watched her for a long time..I looked at her face up close.  How could I, in all my years, have missed her beauty. Beautiful orange beak,  bright red rimmed eye, and snow white feathers.  I saw her nest, carefully and lovingly put together, strand by strand of sea grass.  I watched her watch the environment of where she was..keeping a close eye on her surroundings.  There were several other birds on the top of that building but they were not approaching her...it occurred to me in that moment, that she is just like any other Mom...she just wants to protect her unborn babies with all the energy and preparation that she can muster.  Her first concern is not for herself but for the eggs that she sits on.  She waits, like all Mothers, for the day that she sets her "Chicks" free.

 Out of the corner of my eye..I see this other seagull, the one who hadn't moved,  start walking around the back of the chimney...he looked like a detective on surveillance.   Strange looking bird.   I wasn't sure of his intent to that nest.  Again, I was surprised.

It seemed Momma Seagull needed a break but she would not leave that nest,  that is, not until Papa Bird got his tail feathers around the chimney and the minute Mama Bird got up and ruffled her feathers a few times, then flew away...Papa Bird was on that nest like a fly on rice.  He went into his "I'm here dance" and once he got all his feathers in place and his wings tucked in,  down he sat...can I just tell you my heart felt good.   When I saw that Mother bird take off,  my anxiety level went up as I thought about those unprotected eggs up on a roof top..another lesson learned about nature..somebody is always watching over the babies.

As I watched this scene play out I learned once again that things, people and now birds,  are not as they seem. Yes, the color of a book can be pretty but that does not always make for good reading.  A person can appear to us in many different ways and we form ideas and make judgements sometimes without even having spoken to this person.   If we take the time to speak, we most often like who we meet and many good things can come from that chance encounter.   Now,  I know it's the same for birds, at least for me.   For all my many years I have judge this beautiful seagull.  I thought of them as annoying, loud, crass and nasty.   Gee, that sounds like some people I know, but in the end, on this one day, I found them quite beautiful, loving and not so different then us when taking care of those that they love.   Building a solid foundation for the next generation of seagulls to entertain us.  In watching them, I also saw the danger of their jobs to parent...living on a roof top is not an easy task...but you know,  how sweet home...they were making it work..so next time you see a Seagull...don't judge...just toss them a french fry...maybe they have a baby they want to take it home to.

“When we are judging everything, we are learning nothing.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free