Connections
Thursday, April 19, 2012 at 01:25PM 
It is finally spring in my neck of the woods and it always feels like renewal to me. Actually it is renewal in many, many ways. Sometimes the renewal takes me by surprise and I think of years past and love one's missed. Perhaps that is because at this time of year one of my "passed down", generational chores is to take care of the flowers at the graves of member of my family. According to my Mother's rules of flowers on the grave, they have to be in by Memorial Day. I am remembering that.
Have you ever had a day where you were just out there, having a good time and enjoy all the moments of that day. You are aware of your surroundings and the people that you are with. It feels good to sit and chat, catch up after a long winter of not being together. The day passes in a warm fuzzy feeling sort of way. You get to reconnect and to catch up on the happenings that you have missed out on. I have those days once in awhile. The thing that makes them unique is that while I am in the moment with them I am not aware of how important this one special day is...that always comes later.
For me yesterday was like that. Perhaps it was the spring time feel in the air. The fact that we were able to be outside in the sunshine and fresh air sharing the new growth in my Sister-in Law's garden. Perhaps it was once again just being in the country with her and her Grandson and me with mine. A gift we don't often get to give each other. More importantly perhaps it was that on that long ride home, and even into the evening I was reminded of how much she has meant to me over these many years. How easy we still are with each other and perhaps it was that I was remembering times spent together in the past.
My Sister-in-Law was married to my brother for many years. Her and I became friends. She has an easy attitude and a love of nature and kids. She feels strongly about family as do I. We share a bond of "family" and I was so aware yesterday of how grateful I was for her. My brother died in 2000 and along with losing him there were times when I wondered if she and my niece and nephew might move on also. I suppose that would not be so unusual, perhaps even normal, under the circumstances and the distance of our lives.
Yesterday as we had lunch and the boys played I watched them. One my great nephew at 3 years old, one my grandson at 2 years old. They are cousins somewhere in there but I'm not really good at the "3 times" removed. They were just doing there own thing as little boys do. Learning to share and to connect in their own little boy ways. I thought how my brother would have loved this. He would have enjoyed them so much but he never got that chance. He lives on though in them and because of my connection and love for my sister-in-law and her's for my family, my brother is not really gone. Not in the sense that is so permanent that connections and his family are gone also.
It occured to me yesterday that all of us are always connected if we make it an important part of our lives. I am grateful for all the times we have shared driving to each other's houses, getting our children together since 2000. I have watched my neice and nephew grow, get married and now have their own children. My children have grown and we now have Liam. The connection is strong. The family is intact even as we all move forward into our own future.
Those boys are the truth of family and connections. My sister-in-law and I are still family, even if she is married to another now. Connections do not dissolve because one of us has to leave. Connections are what we make them. I am forever grateful for my connections to my New Hampshire family because in the end they are my connection to my brother.
Because of two of the sweetest and "sharing" cousins those connections will continue to move into the future. And those of us who remain will connect them to the past by bringing them together whenever possible and weaving stories of Grandpa's and Nana's and Gram's who have moved on.
And yes, we have already planned another date to get together. Next time it will be here in my area as her and I travel the cemetary to place those Red geraiums of the graves of loved ones. I am sure she got the same instructions as I did. It will be before Memorial Day...I promise Mom.
Reader Comments (1)
Yes Cheryl it was a special day, and you are as much a connection to Bob for me as I am for you. I see him in you, and I hear him in you. I really have meant to tell you so many times and was again going to yesterday when I put on the music for those young rock stars, that I listen to the two cd's you made me a lot! I love your choice of music. It surprises me. Bob was so close to his music and I can tell you are close like that to your music. He had a vast appreciation of many types of music as you yourself do. I loved his love of music. It was a constant. When he was around there was music. Thank you for the kind words and know the feeling is mutual. Next to the cemetary for our Moms. love, wendy