Traveling Through Life With Clara

I was fifteen years old the first time I sat at her kitchen table for a serious discussion.   I had sat at her dinner table many times before that but always as her niece..by marriage.  This day was different and a turning point for me...I can still picture that kitchen...small by today's standards, with a round table and chairs to hold a family of six. The stove was always brewing something that smelled wonderful but the smells I most remember were the smells of her homemade polish food...a little pantry where we did dishes and a small hallway leading to a porch that at one time held a washer and dryer but then it became a place for a tiny bathroom...I grew to love that kitchen and our table time talks.

She married my Mother's only sibling, my Uncle.  She knew me early on and I was her fairy tale princess in her beautiful wedding..I don't know if she knew at that time, that that was how I felt...so beautiful in that dress and the flowers...Oh my..just like the big ladies. I swear to this day, I have never enjoyed a bouquet quite as stunning as that one. Right from the beginning she knew how to make me believe in myself, but way back then at 4 years old,...I was not able to figure that out..this photo and one of my brother as the ring bearer with me, are one of my greatest treasures.  I wish every little girl could feel so special. It was the beginning really of my travels with Clara.

Life goes on though..and she had her family and I had mine..We would always be together at family functions and holidays..My Uncle was a big part of my life when my Dad was not around.  I loved watching my aunt and uncle as they interacted with their own kids and I loved that I was always welcome at their home.

My home on the other hand was a bit dysfunctional back in the day...My Dad was career Military and my Mom struggled to bring up me and my three brothers, mostly on her own...with some help from my Grandparents. My Mom had to work and and life just wasn't easy at our house...and so when I entered my teenage years and turmoil was the name of the game at home...I went to Clara's house...and that's exactly how I thought of it...Not my Uncle's house but Clara's house.

So that day at fifteen years old, I took my spot on the right side of the table, and I'm sure we had coffee or tea and I started to talk..I talked about all the things at home that were hurtful and sad.  I talked about my trials and tribulations and fears.  I talked and I'm pretty sure I did a bit of crying also..for hours, and she never told me to be quiet or to suck it up. What she did do was listen, and then in her calming and so soft voice, tell me how to deal with it.  How to try to keep the peace.  How to try to understand that it wasn't about me.   It was more about how life was for my family and how strong willed and strict and difficult it could be for the adults in my life.  What she did was blend from Aunt to friend that very day.   

You know as we grow the years meld.  When we are young 15 years difference seems like an eternity.  Where her and I sit today, fifteen years has no defining measure.  We have blended together in years, partly because we never, after that day, let age define our relationship.  So we started traveling together in many ways.  We shared a love of knitting and reading.  She loved a good time so she never really missed to many home parties...Oh my, she taught me so many lessons along the way..how to love passionately, how to laugh out loud.  How to listen to each other...she taught me that you don't need much except tea, time and good conversation to pass away an afternoon in the blink of an eye...and she nurtured the gift of travel in me by telling me of her great adventures with my Uncle and then after my Uncle died, her and I have traveled far and wide together over the years, and we have always had wonderful times...without her knowledge and fearlessness I'm not sure I would be on the path I'm on today...The lessons go on and on.   

Our friendship grew into something so special it is hard to describe...to the point where now, I really do think of her as my friend and only occasionally remember that she was first my Aunt.  She is the last of all my relatives and she continues to teach me life lessons.  The greatest gift she has given me though, is the gift of self-confidence and pride in myself ..She has always been my biggest cheerleader in all that I have done but never more so than in the last 8 years of my life as I struggled to be a photographer and now to combine my photo's with my writing...I have a file draw full of all the notes, letters, cards, kind and loving words that she has taken the time to write to me.   She believed in me when no one else in my family did.  That is what a true friend does...they let go of the naughty side of you and embrace all the good that is in you, that most can't even find. Believe me, I do have a naughty side but I'm not quite sure Aunt Clara knows where it is and if she does, she keeps that side to herself.

So today I celebrate her.   She turns 82 and I hope she lives another 82 years so we can see what else is out there for us.  She still lives alone in her own apartment.   She still knits and reads and is my inspiration for how a life should be lived.  Nothing to fear...just go do whatever it is that you love.   She has enriched my life more than she will ever know and more than I can express here.   What I do know is just like that little flower girl above...every mature, adult female should have a friend like Clara in her life.  I'm one of the lucky ones that never stopped traveling the road with her after that day as her flower girl...all these many years she has held my hand and pulled me along and I am still marching to the beat of her drum...it plays some beautiful music..not many like her left.   I'm glad she's mine..

Happy Birthday Clarey...love you much.

On one of our many road trips...Jim is looking a bit tired but not Clarey...she is all smiles about something...she just loves to laugh and isn't that the greatest music.  I really think they are on some crazy ass ride and Jim is scared to death and Clara thinks that's a hoot...

Clarey was always up for a good adventure and nothing scares her.  Here we are in Springhill Nova Scotia and she gets her hard hat, raincoat and boots and off she goes down into the mines...Not me or my Mom..I was scared to death the mine would fall in on me and that blackness would swallow me up.  Clarey, she loved the whole experience...BTW...I come from a long line of coal miners..we were from Springhill so I was not a stranger to the mines...just didn't want to go in them...Looking good Clarey.

Now this was an adventure I could sink my teeth into.  Twenty years ago we went to Hawaii...oh what a trip that was and right there by my side was my Clarey...we had a great time.  Jim and I went to two Islands but Clarey took off on her own and went to three Islands..I love her adventuresome spirit and she has no qualms about going about her pleasures alone if that's the way to get the job done...she lives life...plain and simple.

This was a surprise 70th birthday party for her..and she was really surprised.  I choose this photo because this tells the story of her life..She is always happy, appreciate every thoughtful deed, believes deeply in her God and shares her love of life with a smile for all who encounter her...She really does...get this thing called "Life". 

As a final note..every time I look at that wedding photo I feel such joy for that little girl..even though she was scared to death she is just the cutest thing ever and I must say, my hair was "Rocking"...that day...which was not usually the case...LOL

Boys and Butterflies

It used to be that I had the boys on Wednesdays, and each week we would go on an adventure or do something special at home.  We still do that, but now Liam is getting so grown up that he has left me for nursery school...so hard for me to wrap my head around how quickly that time has come.   Just seems like yesterday that he was a tiny baby, just rocking away in his swing.  Still, we are fortunate to have the boys one day a week but now it is Tuesday's..Whew a few more years with them together...although the day is different our adventures will continue.

Last week we went to The Butterfly Place...what a wonderful day that was.  Liam loved seeing all the butterflies dancing around, some even landed on his head, which he thought was pretty funny.  Jaxson just delights in being out.  He looks around and takes it all in, not really understanding but not really caring either. To him it's just another adventure...

The beginning of the fall season always has been a marker for how quickly time flies.  It is a reminder for me, and always has been, to keep those things close to my heart that I love.  My kids, projects to be finished, perhaps a few days in the cellar or garage preparing for winter by getting rid of a bit more junk.  It reminds me to not take life for granted...soon my grandbabies will be off to school full time.   I know it happens fast so I'm storing up all of our adventures together...

Fall is a beautiful season..with so much color.  A season to prepare for winter and a season to enjoy the last of all the outdoor brings our way...apple picking, walks in the woods, shooting and playing in the leaves.  Soon we will be hundle inside by the fire with blankies and hot chocolate.  For me, those times are special also but not yet.  Each Fall marks another year of growth in those boys and I'm still wanting to play...and keep them small for as long as possible...so off to our adventures we go.

A fall day, little boys and butterflies...who could possibly ask for more..

Of course at the end of every amazing adventure the boys are always hungry so it's off to eat we go...their favorite place, if we can find one, is always a diner...our favorite place also, because a diner has a lot of patience with kids, and the food choices are right up their alley...a good grilled cheese, mac and cheese, french fries and chocolate milk..and hopefully a nap on the ride home...

Redeeming Myself

A new week, a new day and a few new tricks.  If you remember from my last polo event, I was not happy with my results. Not one to give up, I called B&H..told them of my dilemma and they informed me that my card was to slow. O.K. armed with that information, I reloaded and headed out again this week. Much better results and I'm very happy with these shots.  I will continue to work on my panning of these crazy fast horses and riders until they are perfect but for this year I am done. Polo season is just about over.  I'll be back next year.

This time around I did use a high speed card...not one problem.  Of course last time I forgot I was shooting raw..this time, along with the card, I shot jpeg.  When I get more practice behind me I might go back to raw but that is a lot of information for the card to write in a short time when panning...I also switched back to my Canon 7D instead of the full frame 5D Mark111, that also saved some writing.  I am happy for now and I'll be back on the field again next year...it's very exciting stuff..you have to be careful though...yesterday the damn ball when out of bounds and the horses were coming my way...holy crap..I had to move fast...I'll be practicing that also...

Last but not least at all, every polo match brings out the "best" in some folks.  Probably why I have not been to one in all these years...The tailgating is very elaberate.  This was my favorite table today...I hoping that if I get some more practice time in next year...then I can set up a tail gate table, with my flowers, nice wine, I've already got the hats and perhaps I'll add a lovely basket of photo cards, with my business cards attached.  This could turn into something big...

Now on to fall...tata...

Hanging Out....

At the Polo Field...

I have lived in my town for more than 30 years and I have never been to a Polo match until yesterday...I wish I had gone sooner...it was such a fun event.  I learned a lot about the sport and I learned that it is not only for the rich and famous.  It's for regular folks like me.   Next time though I must remember to bring my own chair and I was very excited to learn you could bring wine and beer...It might have been my first event but it won't be my last...bring on the sunshine and horses...nothing like the smell of fresh horse...crap...

This girl was my favorite...she was so fast and she had no fear...Polo was described to me as being like soccer but with no goalie...they have to get the ball in the net with their mallet..and when they whack that ball they sometimes tear up the grass.  At half time all of the spectators go out on the field and stamp down the divots

Two teams...I don't know who was playing yesterday but I liked the white team..it had two girls on it...a man told me that most of the Polo Ponies were female and when I asked why he said "because they were willing to take more chances...now isn't that the truth.  By the way, although they are called Polo Ponies they are not pony's at all...full size horses but very fast and agile...

Ah, the famous butt braid..and do you know why they braid their tail..well if you do, you know more than I did. I thought it was just for show...you know to make them look pretty..not so.  They braid them so that when they swing that mallet it doesn't get tangled in the tail hair...now that makes sense to me...I love how strong and tight their little butts are...actually they are quite big...I have the big part, just not the tight part...very beautiful animals...and so well taken care of.

 Last but not to be left out is my "best buddy Liam...he just loves the horses and it was such a treat for him to move amongst them yesterday and to pat a few..The handlers were great about letting the kids get close and personal. As much as Liam loves the horses...the ice cream truck was a bigger lure.  That boy does like a great ice cream cone and as for me...I just love sound of the "bell".  Not much different than when I was a kid...course then you could get a drum stick for 50 cents...yesterday it cost me $3.00.  It was worth every penny to see the smile on his face.

We had such a great time.  My friend Mary joined us also and it was a wonderful experience for all of us...If you would like to know more about Polo, you can follow the link below...I'm hoping to get there one more time before the season is over. Sometimes we just need to get out there and take advantage of what our own towns have available...I'm so glad I finally investigated this wonderful, regal sport. 

Quick side-bar note...these photo's are not my best for sure.   I could not for the life of me get my camera to auto focus on the spurt mode yesterday...it was a lens that I had used before so I was worried that something had gone wrong with it...A Canon 70-300 L series.  All of these shot were focused manually and that is not easy when horses are flying by.  Called B&H today...come to find out...my card was to slow...well guess, what, I was shooting raw, large files and full frame 5D Mark111.   The guy told me it was like driving a Ferrari with volkswagon parts...who knew...so that is one disadvantage to shooting raw...or I could have put in my new 32 gig card super fast card.   On spurt I think jpeg would be fine...I was so frustrated...LOL   Lessons learned.  At least I wasn't on a safari...trying to shot run-a-way lions...now that really would have been a bummer.

Going Back...and Moving Forward

It was March 2, 1962..Paramount Theater in Salem, Massachusetts.   Back in the day when you had a ticket booth out front, live organ music on the stage, at least 3 cartoons and finally, the two main events...That's right, in 1962 you got two movies and you spent the day there...for .25 cents.  My first date.  I was barely 15 years old..We sat in the balcony.  That's where you sat and most often it's where you first held hands and finally kissed...I don't know what the movies were that day, but I do know I was very excited with a lot of fear mixed in there..and no, on that date we did not kiss.  

We walked home that night, not old enough to drive yet and I remember him walking about 4 paces in front of me...I was balancing myself walking on the curb stone.  That night was the beginning of a 51 year journey with My Guy...today we celebrate 45 Years of Marriage.  Now when we go to the movies, you only get one show..but that's o.k. for us.  We are usually at the 4:30 showing anyways...

Life takes so many twists and turns and in 45 years we had our share of both good times and some not so good...great joy and huge sadness....we've been through "in sickness and in health"...and we spoken loving to each other more often than with anger but yes, that has been spoken also..We have built a wonderful life and family...sharing two kids, a boy and a girl, both offering us pride and joy and friendship.   Jenna has given us two beautiful and loving Grandchildren which we see as God's gift for a humble and loving life.   Most days I can't wait to get up and see what life will bring my way.   Sometimes it's sunshine and light, some days it's clouds and rain..we get through all our days together.

I wish there was some magic fairy dust that I could bottle and pass around so every couple could have a long and loving relationship...but it's really not about magic.   It's about commitment and hard work, maybe the hardest work we do as a couple is to every so often re-evaluate where we are at any given moment and what we want for our future...For Jim and I it has always been about family first and that continues to be our priorty to this day...there is nothing that we are more committed to than our family.  Not always easy but always, always worth it.   

When I look back over our years together and our life both as partners and as individuals, I now at my age, can claim a lot of wonderful treasures...not material treasure but life experience treasures...the kind you learn about along the way.  The kind you can only recognize as you grow...up.  As I look at these treasures I have learned there is one common thread that runs through each one of the "biggies" in our life.   Every gift of great importance has come through hard work...Nothing of value comes for free or without some pain or struggle..knowing that when we got to the other side of the struggle, we were stronger for it and we appreciated it...Life in not a sprint..it's a marathon...you need the right person next to you to grow in love and faith and loyalty...Then you get the gifts...We are truly blessed in each other..it's been quite a journey.

I want to share a few of my favorite times with my Favorite Guy...I am amazed that from that tiny theater so many years ago, at not only how fast the time has gone by, but by how much we have to look forward to. Who knows where the road will lead...but I know who will be by my side...

My beautiful family...I love them so much...

At our Lake House in Maine...we have so much fun here and it is truly a piece of  Heaven for relaxation

And sometimes we end up in the strangest places and that is where we really have the most fun...this is not your average taxi...Cusco Peru.

Then off to Macchu Pichu

On Top of the World....in Yosemite..

Riding off into the Sunset...Me and Him...not quite yet...so many more adventures on our bucket list..but on each adventure we tried to go horseback riding..it really is one of our greatest pleasures..

“Everybody needs beauty as well as bread, places to play in and pray in, where nature may heal and give strength to body and soul.”  John Muir

“The world is big and I want to have a good look at it before it gets dark.” 
― John Muir

 My Guy