" We create our own traditions for the same
reason we create our own families; to know
where we belong. We like our holidays the way
children like bedtimes stories; predictable.
We don't come together for something new." Ellen Goodman
It happens the second Wednesday of every December...these long standing Girlfriends meet at my house and we have our now "annual tea party". It's an amazing thing to witness..especially for me. Each year I look at these girls and once again, realize the many gifts they bring to my life...all very different but all the same in so many ways...life sometimes is hard and if you have a team to support you, the going is so much easier. These are the ones, who will put down their pencil and come,...it doesn't matter the time of day or the time of night. Every year I give Thanks that they all are at my table once again..
So it begins...they make me laugh..each year there is the usual, "where do you want me to sit." My answer most years.."wherever you want"...but this year I shook them up...I had a few that always went to the back of the dining room table...and so I dragged them up front..Oh boy...that threw everyone off...I wish I had a dining room that supported a round table...but like my Mom used to say..."wish in one hand and s..t in the other and see which fills up the fastest"...gosh she was rough around the edges..LOL. but I do know what she meant...but probably because of the long table..all of the girls now have gotten to know each other even though some were never friends before our tea meetings. It has been magical watching them come together and now I know that they would continue to see each other even if I were not the facilitator...love that.
Many pots of tea are consumed with tea sandwiches, scones with clotted cream and jam and of course luscious desserts...this years special dessert...Vanilla ice cream with lemon curd, fresh whipped cream and sugared pistachio's ...so good. Like every good girl gathering though, we do like to have a touch of the medicinal beverage to settle the stomach...along with gift opening. Mark West seemed to be a favorite this year along with a bit of homemade lemoncillo...this is not a tea part for sissy's...If you want to come to the table you better wear your Big Girl Panties...no hanky panky here...
Remember I told you this was not a party for sissy's...well this is where it gets interesting...THE YANKEE SWAP...I wonder as I write this, if this is a swap that only Yankees partake of...I think not but I'm guessing it might be called a different kind of swap in other parts of the country...but Yankee girls are notorious for getting what they what, whatever it takes...honestly we have so much fun with this...even a few cat fights along the way. In the end, everyone goes home happy with their gifts but they sometimes are still grumbling as they walk down the driveway to their cars...
The center piece these last few years (and now probably for as long as we gather) is the bowl of old colored Christmas balls. We realize how fragile they are but they are still here, with us. It reminds me and the girls...that life is also fragile. We know as a group, that someday there will be empty chairs at the table. These were my Grandmother's Christmas ornaments...and in a most meaningful way..she reminds us from afar, how important it is for us to gather each year and celebrate each other...Celebrate the friendships and the event. They remind us to stop for a few hours each year to reconnect around the tea table...to share stories, new and old, to laugh with each other as if we were still silly teenagers and to hold tight to the love that each one of us brings to the table...intertwined now after 20 years..we have a history together and each second Wednesday of December we celebrate that history...Oh my, some of these girls have been hanging with me for more than fifty years...all for at least 30. We not only celebrate the Christmas Holiday, food and wine...we celebrate the gifts Friendships bring...actually at this stage..they are my Sisters...lucky me, I got to hand pick them...with 3 brothers I needed to pick strong and steady girls...
So this season as you travel through the hectic days....take a moment and give thanks for all the good people in your life...Girlfriends...yes, I love these girls but there are so many more of you out there that I wished I could have brought to this table..I've learned that you don't have to live next door or even in the next town State or Country to qualify...all you have to do is reach out in Friendship and the rest, if it's right, will just follow...
Merry Christmas and here's to all my Girlfriends near and far...
FRIENDSHIP
is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness. Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another’s eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn. A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them. An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy. All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die…David Whyte...